JulieDoc's Junkroom

Writer's Block: Reflections

2009-12-29T21:41:54Z

What are your fondest memories of 2009? What were the low points? All told, what were the most significant events of 2009? Do you wish you could do it all over again?

View 1057 Answers

First of all, Getting My Own Apartment was a huge high (even though it's brought about a few lows in the finacial dept). Having my own space kicks so much ass. New ideas and progress with my writing and jewelry are a big high point. Star Trek and Sherlock Holmes are my entertainment high points for 2009.

Low point, lowest one, has to be the fact that I am witnessing my grandmother slip deeper and deeper into Alzheimer's. I'm the only grandkid who lives around here, and I'm sometimes called to help with her. I love her and I will help anytie I'm asked and sometimes even when I'm not. But seeing someone who was once so opinionated and strong turn into someone who answers everything with one word answers and sometimes just speaks with thin air and who seems so depressed and far away. It hurts me to go there. My uncle has had two strokes this year, and I haven't seen him. My parents keep telling me to wait. I suspect he isn't far off from where my grandmother is right now. He was always happy to see me, and probably wouldn't even recognize me now.

My two entertaiment lows were the cancellation of Stargate Atlantis, my favorite show, and the death of David Carradine, of whom I was a big fan in the mid-nineties.

I wouldn't want to do it all over again, no. Not because the bad overshadowed the good, nothing like that. But, it has beeen hard work even doing some of the good stuff and I'd rather not retread that.

juliedoc @ 2009-12-28T10:14:00

2009-12-28T16:14:23Z

1. Make an LJ-cut post with "DO NOT READ" as the text.
2. Do not select a 'mood' for this post.
3. If anyone clicks the cut, they are to comment and admit to doing so.
4. Anyone who reads this also has to do the same in THEIR journal, thus continuing the never-ending madness!

Grrr.

2009-11-29T23:38:16Z

See that frost-coverd lump of flesh right there on the floor? Yeah. That's my ass. The heater is blowing nothing but cold air and it just froze off. I'm wearing three shirts and two pairs of socks.

You know, I'm thinking of writing an essay on video game characters in MMO's. There seems to be a disparity in the way your fellow players treat you depending on your character's gender. When I have my female Wizard 101 main going on, people tend to be clingy and bug me for help all the time. When I decided to play one of my male characters and be "dude for a day", I was met with rudeness, even some disgust at just my passing by, and a lot of impatience. I wonder if this is a phenomenon that simply happens in games, or are people really inclined to be ruder to guys and more dependent around women?

I think it would make an interesting study. Maybe a bit useless, but interesting.

RIP Edward Woodward

2009-11-16T16:55:18Z

Ripped from my tweets with additions. I've been realizing my tweets lately have so many >> in them that they might as well be journal entries.

RIP Edward Woodward, a truly great actor.

Like every good child of the 80's I was aware of his show, "The Equalizer". Of course, back then, it came on late, my parents didn't watch it, and it wasn't my kind of show, anyway.

Of course, I'd only seen him in two things, The original "Wicker Man" and "Hot Fuzz", but he was so funny in "Hot Fuzz", and well, "The Wicker Man"? Let's just say I base a lot of my gauge of a good actor on his or her ability to elicit an emotional response in me, good or bad. I don't think any male character ever pissed me off as much as his Sgt. Howie did. Edgar Wright (who directed and was one of the writers of "Hot Fuzz") rightly described the character as "kind of the villain of the piece". On the side of what people would percieve to be be right, but an overbearing, zealous discredit to Christians everywhere. Carla had a journal entry including a pretty scathing indictment of Christians on it some weeks or maybe a month back, and wanted to know why people were so against Christians. See this movie, Carla. It's depictions of Christians like Howie that may be a big part of the hate. He's a stiff-necked, intolerant bastard . Actually, children, if none of you have seen the original "Wicker Man", I would urge you to see it. It's a brilliant film.

For the sake of your own good taste, DON'T see the version with Nicholas Cage. In Nick Cage's version, I couldn't even bring myself to care.
You, Sir, were brilliant, genial (from intervews, I could tell this) and very very fine at your craft, and will be missed. May whichever God you believed in Bless You.

(I find it incredibly strange that Christopher Lee, his Wicker Man nemesis and an actor nine years older than Mr. Woodward, has outlived him. I have to admit, I'm a huge fan of Master Lee, and I saw the film, at first, for him. Jokingly, this is still further evidence that Master lee really is a fucking vampire.)

I can't correct my capital letter on that last, because my cursor is doing really weird things today. "Care", up above, isn't supposed to be hanging by itself, but the sursor jumps to the third line up whenever I try to fix things. My apologies,

Why are you behaving so uptightly?

2009-11-16T05:07:53Z

Just got back from watching "The Men Who Stare at Goats". I liked it; thought it was funny and strangely touching. The Jedi references were so funny, considering the presence of Ewan McGregor. Plus, it appealed to my magic/hippie side. They had this "salute to Mother Earth" thing that I really loved. Chaz didn't like it.

There's just no pleasing her lately. I told Sean and Sarah that I think she's actually forgotten how to enjoy herself. I mean, she couldn't even let loose and be fangirly at the con. She says she thinks cons are exploitative to actors because they let people ask stupid questions and most actors wouldn't do them if not for contracts or money. So, I felt bad because I had kind of been enjoying myself up to that point. She told me she wasn't ever the kind of fan who would get all excited about things.

Apparently, I am embarrassing because I'm too loud and too awkward and accidentally get in people's way. I didn't mean to raise my voice when I said, "I think you should get this picture". I didn't mean to blurt out "Oh, my God!" when I saw the page of the binder with David Nykl's picture on it and it had his autograph. {Despite the fact that my credit will be pished at me later, Hells, yes, I bought it.} I insisted that had Misha passed by in the halway, I would have just been cool about it. Popular to contrary belief, I do have manners, and would not commence to try and rip a con guest apart. {Though, if this was an SGA con and David Nykl would have, I don't know, sat down next to me on one of the lobby couches, I really would have had to sit on my hands. I would have resisted touching him for the sake of politeness, but I am well aware that I am a tactile person, and this quality makes me a weirdo in most circles.}

She said Misha was one of the few actors who seem to enjoy cons, and it was true. He told goofy stories about his underwear, and his mother calling him "Mische the quiche" as a child. He teased an Australian fan who didn't know how to take a joke. He flirted with the girls pretty damn mercilessly for a married man.

Maybe next time I go to a con, I'll go alone. This was supposed to be Chaz's good time. I just wish she could be happy. Honestly, if one of my dream men had had his arm around me, even if it was being brief and he'd been paid to do it, I'd be walking on air. What can make her happy if not that?

Everything is epic. No, really!

2009-11-04T17:54:20Z

Anyway, our epic zombie prank turned into an epic fail when there was a (dare I say it) epic rainstorm on the day we were going to go out. Basically, we were going to be "Zombies in an Economic crisis", and were going to troll the busier parking lots in town in costume. We were carrying signs that said, "Will work for brains". Chaz zombied out with me, but we had to settle for scaring kids on trick or treat night in Sarah's driveway. Next year, we will take it to the streets, I say!!!

We still have pics of us together, though. I'll get them up as soon as I can get them mailed to me. One little girl came up to me and said; "You're scary." Being a terminally harmless-looking nerd with a slight wish to be badass, I was filled with pride, and answered "Thank you so much!" Sean, Sarah's husband was, of course, far scarier. Aside from being naturally a bit scary anyway, he was dressed up as a blood-splattered clown with a chainsaw (sharp bits removed, of course). I couldn't help but giggle when he couldn't get the thing started because of the cold. I'm so mean.

Sean's mom is living with Sarah and Sean now. Linda's not so bad this time. She's really grateful to be away from Sean's sister and her husband and their stepkid. Apparently the bastard has Shannon, who I always saw as one of the ultimate tough chicks I knew, under his thumb, is abusive at least verbally and financially to her, and he and his kid are disgusting fucking slobs. I don't blame Linda for opting out. Sarah seems okay with it, but sometimes I wonder if she's really okay, know what I mean?

I have a Facebook now, but, to be honest I'm way freer here than I can be on facebook. As soon as I friended one family member, I was flooded with friends reqests from all of them. So, I've gotta watch how I type there. Can't let them know I have such a fuckin' filthy fuckin' mouth (or mind), can I? (Actually, I think the swearword I use the most is "ass", though. As in, "that's a load of ass", or "asstastic", or "bite my shiny metal ass".) On the upside, though, I'm loving the facebook games. Vampire wars and mafia wars are my favorites.

Chaz and I are going away Saturday the 14th, to a Supernatural con, for just a day. We're going to see her crush, Misha Collins, who plays the angel Castiel. Observe.

The last con I went to with Chaz was kind of tense, but since this is her mans'n'em and her thing, maybe it'll be cool. It's nice to see her all excited and full of squee for a change.

Well, right now, I need to get my butt in gear because I have epic loads of laundry to do. Yes, they ARE epic. Everything is, don't you believe me?

Wizards and zombies

2009-10-28T16:25:01Z

Okay, so I have no real excuse . . . .

I've become addicted to an MMO called Wizard 101. I originally described it as "Harry Potter meets Yu-Gi-Oh", but that's not exactly true. In Yu-Gi-Oh, as far as I've seen, the monsters battle both each other and their controllers. Unless you have a minion summoned in W101, your character takes all the damage. Besides, the cards are aligned to the various schools of magic, and some do better damage against other types. So, the card element is more like "Magic:The Gathering". We were summoning our creatures in Magic long before Yu-Gi-Oh, thank you very much. Though, if I ever have a chance to duel a clown, I WILL say "Did I just kill a Gay clown?", in homage to Yu-Gi-Oh abridged when I win.

I'm thinking of writing a list of things that I'm not allowed to do while playing, but that I do, anyway. Like yelling "Leprechaun taint!" in tribute to Potter Puppet Pals whenever I cast a leprechaun, and asking the little lizard- like creatures in the Egyptian-themed world if they can get me a better deal on my car insurance.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I reread Deathly Hallows just recently. I'm surprised anew at how packed with plot-events, if not plotlines, that book is. The only phrase I can use to describe the writing, and I know it's a cliche, is "lovingly written". One can tell that Rowling chooses her words and passages very carefully. Bravo.

Paranormal Activity was an experience. It was much fun to hear jumpy teenage girls scream every time a door slammed. I can say the movie itself wasn't all that scary, but it was tense. And it did fucked-up things to my dreams when I tried to sleep, especially because I was housesitting at the time and in a strange bed.

Halloween is fast approaching, and I'm going to hand out candy this afternoon to kids at the complex office. Kids don't go house to house much here, because parents don't like them going in and out of the various buildings. After what happened on Saturday, I wouldn't blame any parents if they didn't let their kids out ever again.

There was a domestic dispute between a girl and her ex. After screaming obscenities at the girl, who was on the porch, the guy jumped into his car, swung around, and started shooting at the building. Then, he looped into the other parking lot and started shooting in the other direction at random. No one was hurt, although a car got hit, but someone surely could have been. Worse still, the building the guy was shooting at is the one I live in. The girl lives in the block of apartments just to the right of mine. I was gone at the time, out with my parents, but I came home to cop cars everywhere and police tape across the parking lot. Yeesh, some psychos and their fucking baggage. I'm just glad no kids were out playing when it happened.

On a lighter note, Sarah and I are going to pull off a great zombie-based Halloween prank. I can't say more, but I will have pictures. Watch this space. :)

Daaaayumm. Rule # 2- "Double Tap"

2009-10-05T14:44:22Z

Hey there, all. It's been another long time.

Part of this was for jewelry festival season. I did pretty well this year, and, strangely enough, I've no complaints. No one was rude to me. Well, someone did say something rude, but it wasn't the much-hated "it's too expensive". Somehow, I remember that it was really insulting, but I can't remember the exact words. Meh. No use dwelling on it now or trying to rememember. I still have a few projects I need to do, but right now, I wanna take them slow.

In the thick of Scarecrow fest (The last full week of September), my uncle Mike had a stroke. He's doing better now. I've not seen him yet, but My parents assure me that he's doing better. Next time they go up, I'm going. Mom and Dad told me I should wait until he's awake to see him.

Tina asked me how apartment life was going. In a word, busy! I don't know how people manage to have their own places and hold down a job at once!!! Cleaning, Garbage, cooking, dishes, shopping, wow. Now, I clean my parents' house once a week, but I don't care for a pet or shop at their place. I've spent the greater part of a day just cooking a meal. (Well, it probably wouldn't have taken so long if I wasn't such a picky-ass when it comes to food.) Spaking of food, it turns out, I've actually eaten a schnitzel, 3 years in a row! They have these giant pork tenderloin sandwiches at Scarecrow fest, super-thin and battered. I looked at the sign this year that proudly proclaimed "schnitzel-style". D'oh. What probably threw me is that the place is famous for tempura battered sweet potato and onion fries and Korean chicken, and is, in fact, a Korean barbecue. I was completely blinded by nationality, here. What a schnit-head, LOL.

I have seen two very good movies recently: Perfect Creature and Zombieland. Perfect Creature is one of the most interesting, downright innovative vampire movies I've ever seen. The lead is all-right looking, but if you're searching for eye-candy, this ain't Twilight. (Not that I ever really saw Pattinson as eye-candy, except maybe as Cedric Diggory. He looked so much healthier back then. And, well, this Lautner kid, I saw him in a preview to New Moon-impressive body, not so sure about the face. His wolf-form, though obv CG, was beautifully done, though.) Perfect Creature is something like a steampunk vampire movie, set in a world in which alchemy had as much pull as science, and vampires were actually humanity's protectors, allied with a church. They weren't undead; they were a sex-linked genetic mutation: all male. One of them goes rogue for a reason unknown at the beginning, and the lead has to make his way through this techno-Dickensian world to find him. Highly unusual. Zombieland is a fucking hoot; a romp through "How to Survive the Zombie Apocolypse". There's blood, sure, but very few really graphic moments, come to think. Like, someone will hit a zombie with a baseball bat; you don't see the impact, just the blood splat. Plus, you've gotta love a movie that starts out with people running in slo-mo from zombies to Metallica, and zombie hunters invading Bill Murray's house. Brilly brill. See eeet, if you don't mind the splats.

I've been writing a bit, but I can't say I'm all that interested in fanfic right now. I should unsub from my MCR slash comm. I don't care about frerard at all, and only occasionally read anything. Since shadow_hive stopped doing MCR fic, I can't say I've been sparked. I'm kinda "meh" when it comes to music now. Def Leppard have been fraternizing with country music, pleeeeh, leaving MCR as my favorite band; though I haven't listened to them in a dog's age. I still maintain I'll be more Hitman when the new album comes out. (Though Mikey's tweets still amuse me sometimes.)

So, flist, whazzup with you?

Writer's Block: Scorching day

2009-09-08T15:04:43Z

On a scorching day, do you prefer the beach or an air-conditioned movie theater?

View 1246 Answers

The movie theater, 100%. My skin blisters in the sun. I get sick and flushed from heat very easily. The sun really makes my eyes water, too. (Though I've heard this is nothing special, the sun often bothers people with light-colored eyes. Mine are a fairly pale blue.) I always joke that it results from being so into vampires. With my hips and legs the way they are, I have a hard time walking in sand, too. Ohhh, I love going to the movies. It makes me so happy. Cool and dark with soda and something fun to watch. Heavenly.

Speaking of movies, does anyone else see the LOTR parallels with this new animated movie, 9? There are 9 companions, fighting horrible monsters to save the world, and the special, special one of them just happens to be Elijah Wood (Frodo). LOL.

I'm probably the only one who thinks about these things.

Holy Schnitzel!!! Long time, no write!

2009-09-02T16:18:34Z

The apartment has been taking up a lot of my time. Jeez, it's almost been a month since I updated last. I've been dealing with slippy bathtubs and being sick for the past week. Also (embarassed) I learned how to play wildgames on this computer without getting tripped up by security, so I've been gaming a bit.

Plus, I got wonderful news on the 18th of the month. They approved me getting Tommy back! I needed to get him his shots, but he is now here and well and out of the shed. He sulked, and was pissy and hid under the bed for a day or two, but now he sleeps next to my head on my pillow He really has been a great help to me, since I haven't had any of my sleep hallucinations since he started doing that.

I continue to valiantly make jewelry for my shows at the end of this month. I've added a new, cheap item to my repertoire: cell phone charms. I'm sick to death of hearing people tell me my stuff is "too expensive" to my face. "I'm like "here, fuck, it's two dollars. Is that cheap enough for you, asstard?" So sick of hearing my hours of work aren't worth a lousy 28 bucks. I know, I know, I compain about this every year, and as long as people are rude enough to say "it's too expensive" to my face, I'll continue to. "I don't have the money," or "I can't afford it" are different. They say to me, well, I have to budget and even though it's nice, I have other priorites for my cash, or I just don't have it on me. "It's too expensive", makes it sound like it's not worth what I'm asking.

The schnitzel thing . . . I was trying to curb my potty mouth a bit, so, somewhere between "shit" and "shnikes" (thank you, Chris Farley), the word came out "schnitt". So, I've been saying "holy schnitt" for a week or two. When I mentioned this to Sarah, she said why not take it all the way and say "schnitzel". So . . . (still confused over what the hell schnitzel is. Sarah, even though she took three years of German, thought it was a dessert, I say it's a sausage, as in wienerschnitzel.)

The last box is put away, even though a few are missing. It's not quite home yet, but I haven't given up . The rooms need signs and artwork, which I'm making, and the door wants a sign that says "welcome home".

If you're ever in LaPorte, Indiana, make sure to stop by Carriage House apartment 3L. I'm at the top of the stairs on the right. :)

Not dead, just incommunicado and very, very busy.

2009-08-04T20:39:21Z

I officially signed the lease on my apartment last Monday. Since then, it's been a whirlwind of buying basic stuff, lugging things up and down stairs, and trying to arrange things. I've been sleeping there since last Wednesday.

So far, I've done battle with a cranky microwave, books that smell of mildew because they've been in a storage unit for five years, crossed wires in the living room (okay, so the maintainence guys actually fought that one, for an hour and a half this morning),speakers that won't work, and the pain of being short in a place that has lots of high shelves. Still, my bedroom/workshop has loads of room, and things are starting to take shape. The dining room is full of junk and the bathroom looks like a hotel bathroom, but the bedroom/workshop and the living room are actually starting to look like I want them to. There are still lots of totes stacked up everywhere, but there probably will be for months, or until Dad takes some of them back to storage. I'm missing the tote that has my glass baking dishes in it, but I'm sure it will turn up.

I'm grateful to a lot of people for gifts: to Chaz for my new video cabinet and end tables, (actually hand me downs, but they're nice, so I'm not complaining), and to my granddad for my dining room table & chairs. But I owe everything to my dad, who lugged most of the heavy stuff up a flight of stairs on a cart. He's been fantastic.

I'm doing laundry and collecting some clothes right now. I'll be back Friday to clean the house, and hopefully, tell all of you more. =)

Hope all of you are well! I'll be back soon!

I loves me kitty

2009-07-15T23:09:54Z

I just found out from my therapist that the office of the apartments talked to her. I'm not allowed pets, but I've been so miserable since not being allowed my kitty that I asked to have him for therapeutic reasons. This ball-o-fuzz is like my baby. A huge hole has been left in my life without him with me.

Turns out the apartments' office thinks I'm really sweet and is trying like mad to get the companion animal thing approved. I'm so happy I couldn't stop crying. This is fully a gift from the divine itself.

Meet Tommy (named after Styx/Damn Yankees guitarist Tommy Shaw):

He used to like to be carried and cuddled, but not so much anymore that he's in my friend's back shed and very few people ever go back there. Hopefully he will be his old self in our new home. Here, you see him in his fatass phase. He's skinny now. I'm going to feed him treats so he becomes a plump, happy loaf again. He has never so much as bitten or scratched a person. He purrs loudly and non-stop when he gets going, and is even patient enough to let me cut his nails without biting.

Best. Cat. Evar.

Our House, in the middle of the street . . . .

2009-07-15T13:31:07Z

So, I'm not dead, but it's been a very long time. Many, many things have happened to me in the last couple of weeks. In the last week of June, I got a message from the rent-controlled apartments I'd applied to that they may have had an apartment for me. I didn't want to make this announcement on LJ until I was sure, but after much filing of paperwork, it's official, I'm moving out on my own.

I'm so happy, you cannot even imagine. The ability to live on my own terms will be insanely welcome. I don't care if I have to have craptastic furniture and eat off of paper plates, it's autonomy, baby!!! I'll have to make a lot of financial sacrifices, which may include not having the internet for a while, but I really don't care. I've already decided I can't afford cable or a land-line. The internet, when I get it, will be my only indulgence.

On that note, I've started jewelry season early. I plan to have a jewelry party once every two months, and maybe put a few things online. I'll need my parents' help to get to my festivals, but that won't last long, because I only have a year left to pay off my car, possibly less. So, if I can get through this first year, I'll be set.

The waiting has made me very anxious, so I've disappeared into my games more often these days. Sometimes I've not even thought to check the regular 'net.

I'm sorry for my neglect, guys, and my further neglect. I've accepted a job in no-man's land (aka. My aunt and uncle's) from this Sunday to next. (I have to get every bit of cash I can scrounge. I hope that's understandable. My parents have given me no shortage of things that could go wrong and speeches about how hard it's going to be, so forgive me if I'm a bit financially paranoid.) That means no connection to wi-fi that I can actually get into. Still, I consider it good practice for being on my own.

I'll update and comment as often as I can. (I've had some interesting Harry Potter thoughts I want to share, for one. Also, news on friends,rants about music, and ponderings on horror movies.)

See you soon!

So effing uneasy right now

2009-06-29T14:17:52Z

So, hokay, I don't know if I ever told you about the one bad thing about petsitting at my neighbor's (Gail & Dennis's). I may have mentioned this, I'll have to check. There was a guy living next to him that always gave me a really creepy vibe. The catbox there is actually a modified storage bin, so I need to go outside to clean it. Whenever I did, this guy would automatically come out of his house and stare at me. You could go all day without seeing him, but as soon as I came out of the house, there he was.

He sometimes would talk to me, and the things he said always seemed really disjointed and random. He came over one day to say that he'd relocated some landscaping boards that some kids had knocked out of place. He kept on talking and the cat escaped out the front door, so I had to go chasing it. He was in his 50's and still living with his mother. He just seemed just really nosy, intrusive & weird. I was really put off by it, and was pretty scared at encountering him. Sarah said that maybe he was just lonely.

Well, he wasn't just lonely. I found out that last night, he'd been sent to jail because he raped his mom, 82 years old. I feel sick for that poor lady.

I also feel really lucky that he didn't fucking jump on me or something when I was outside cleaning. This feels creepier than the time the Tourette's Syndrome clown invited me up to his motel room to make me balloon animals. http://juliedoc.livejournal.com/3703.html

I don't mind weird, and I'm pretty broad-minded sexually, but I think this goes to show that I know good-weird from bad weird, and I draw the line at rape, especially incestuous rape involving a parent and child.

I've got this queasy shiver going through me. I'll probably have it for a long time.

Writer's Block: Childhood Firsts

2009-06-29T13:57:25Z

What was your first word?

View 501 Answers

"Pappaw"- which is what we call my granddad on my Mom's side. They're from Kentucky; it's a southern US thing.

Oldass Mc Oldy samples some of her young friends' Music

2009-06-26T16:39:52Z

I've been wondering to myself. "Hmm, what is it that the others on my fList can introduce me to?" Well, I found this awesome MP3 site, KOhit.net, and decided to sample some tunes. I realize that just picking random songs might introduce me to more duds than studs, but, oh well.

Tried out: "Black", "Hilf Mir Fliegen" and "Unendlichkeit" by Tokio Hotel. Okay, I prefer the band in German, because anything sounds more hXc in German, arguably one of the most "metal" languages on Earth, even when someone's singing a ballad. They're not what I expected. I thought they'd be harder. Still, I actually like "Hilf Mir Fliegen". There's something about that one that reminds me of early Savage Garden meets FOB. That one is saved.

Tried out -"Almost Easy User Lane 2", "Eternal Rest" by Avenged Sevenfold. Interesting. First song's like Atreyu knocked into early speed-era Metallica or Megadeth, but with much clearer lyrics. Second song is a bit too speedy at the beginning and "arrrrrrgh" for my taste, at least today (oh, wow, this interlude is nice, actual singing) Oooh, end is very goth . It's growing on me. "Almost Easy" saved.

Tried out "Dying is Your Latest Fashion", and "Cellar Door" by Escape the Fate. Okay, "Dying . . ."=very naughty. saved immediately. "Cellar Door"- very atmostpheric, saved. Band: Kind of like Atreyu + Linkin Park (with all the effects) + something else I can't quite identify but which is familiar somehow.

I'd say none of these bands can be ruled out as possible additions to my music banks. Alll of them warrant further investigation. I can't say I don't like any of them, because the music depends on my mood. I may not be in a softer Tokio Hotelor a "Rrrrrrrawwwwrrrr" type-mood right now, but sometime, I conceivably might.

I've been waiting months. W00T!

2009-06-11T13:44:57Z

The Fifth, and final (grrrrrrrrrrrrrr) season of Stargate Atlantis comes out at the end of this month. All in all, The release is pretty satisfactory, except that the commentaries are sucky this time around. The last season, very few of the actors did commentary, it was mostly writers, directors and crew. The actors are always more fun and more interesting. You'd think that I would be interested in the technical side of it, since one of my bigger dream is to make a film, but there's only so much of "we set up this shot this way with this lens, and we used this program for that effect" that I can stand. I'd rather hear the actors tell goofy-ass stories about each other. David Hewlett and Paul McGillion are a particular riot. My hobbit, David Nykl, hasn't done a commentary, though lots of people have talked about him (all good). Now, it seems, he never will. It's too damn bad. From his blog and various interviews, he's very clever, and I'd love to see him playing off of Hewlett. Boooooooo.

Speaking of good Dr. Nykl, I watched the 2nd ep of season 5. We've only seen the first ep on the compy from that season, and I heard his character, Dr. Radek Zelenka, gets attacked by a plant-thing growing out of Dr. Keller. The Wraith, their baddies, have organic ships, and apparently these ships grow out of people. Well, I found out it wasn't a plant, but these myriad tendrils that were like an insect's shell. It was siphoning power out of the conduits to help it drow, and Radek had to go into the service hatches to see how far it had spread. When he found it, the thing has spread out all over the wiring, tendrils hanging down from the ceiling. Silly scientist just had to check how much damage had been done. The next shot was a strand of the ship slithering across the floor toward his ankle. It pulled him to the floor, he hits his head, and it several strands of it start to crawl up his legs. Perv that I am, the first thing I thought was "OMG, tentacleRape!!!! It's going to rip into his clothes and . . . oh, Teyla just shot it. Oh, well, that's ~~disappointing~~ fortunate for poor Radek. Yes. I am a nice person. I must not like to see my favorite characters in peril for their virtue. Yes."

I am a horrible person, really.

Writer's Block: Last Meal

2009-06-10T14:31:27Z

What do you want your last meal to be?

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Ooooh! Ooooh! *Raises hand* I was just thinking about how I would choose to die the other day, so this ties in quite nicely!

I would like my last meal to be strawberries, mango slices, dark chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Fed to me by two dozen lovely men, all of whom I got to choose for the dubious task. Of course, eating off their glorious selves would eventually come into play. Flavored kisses, as well. Oh and Sangria! Which, as there must be "Incense, wine, and candles", or I'd lose my Superfreak credentials, is the only wine-based drink I actually like,besides Korbel champagne, okaaay, so some of that, too. Of course, this feast would be at leisure.
Before my paramours send me off exhausted to the great 'verse out there with a smile on my face and a song in my (inevitably stopped) heart. That's what I want.

juliedoc @ 2009-06-08T14:20:00

2009-06-08T20:31:27Z

From loud_an_clear who is ffull of the awesome

Reply to this post by commenting, "Words". I'll pick five words that I associate with you. Post to your journal about those words and get your friends to do the same.

I got Wolves, anime, MCR, Dr. Who, 80's rock.

1. Wolves

I like them better than dogs, even though they're technically the same family. They seem so much more independent and intelligent. It's hard to believe that my friend Sarah's big, slobbery, foul-assed idiot of a dog is descended from them. The unrestrained hunting of them in Alaska makes be infuriated, even though I have no money to donate to the cause. We could use a few large predators around here; we've got an overabundance of deer. I often dream about wolves, sometimes in very *very* odd contexts, changing into them sometimes. There is a place further down the state where they have a sanctuary, and the wolves are semi-tame. I'd love to go down there, but I'm afraid with the way I walk, they would pinpoint me as a lame member of the herd and take me down. Why is it the animals I love the most (wolves, big cats) are precisely the ones that can rip my face off?

2. Anime

I've loved it since before I knew it had a name. It was because of the artwork, at first. And Voltron. I was trying to draw in anime style before it was trendy, back in the early '90's. My favorites are Saiyuki, FullMetal Alchemist, The Slayers, and Peacemaker Kurogane. I was never into Naruto or Dragonball Z and I've never seen Death Note or Bleach. I like anime that have supernatural settings and characters most. I don't watch that much anymore because it's not really fun alone. I can draw hella-cool anime hair, but it takes some doing.

3. MCR- Ahhhhh, I've never liked a band that had quite this much personality before. I like these guys as people. Then again, maybe none of the bands that I've ever liked had done anything so candid as LOTMS. I am a sucker for behind-the-scenes stuff, whether it's with actors or bands. If I had to pick a member of MCR that was most like me, I'd probably say it was a tie between Gerard, Mikey, and Ray. I just totally sympathize with everything that Gerard said he went through in school, because my circumstances were similar, Ray and I share a taste in music and lots of other things, as do Mikey and I. The thing is, I likely feel this connection because we all grew up in the same era. It just feels like "Yeah, I knew these guys in HS." Probably nothing special, just a shared environment in time. I can feel the fact that they were influenced by some of the bands I grew up listening to, which is probably why I like their music so much. Different and familiar. Plus, I absolutely adore Toro's singing voice, and most else about Toro, as well. My fandom has kind of calmed down toward them in the absence of the tour or album, giving way to my sci-fi geek roots. I'm sure I will swing back up again when I hear something new from them, though. Oh BTW, Bob and Frank are great, but Bob's too quiet for me to really make much of a judgment and I sometimes get the impression that Frank can be a bratty little fucker. Humph. He isn't always, sometimes he's quite sweet, but I don't see him as well, polite, like I see Ray, then again, my impressions could be totally wrong.

Oh, and I'm sick to death of Frerard fic, just so's you know.

4. Dr. Who

I like old-school Who (Baker, Davison), was introduced by massive Who-fail that befell Paul McGann (he was a good Doctor; his script was so weeeeeak, though), and I adore Tennant/Ten. He's not just cute, he's got such an incredible enthusiasm and just the right dusting of cheeky arrogance. Old Who is cheesier than old Trek, and a fit of hilarious, usually. I met Paul McGann, and he seemed to genuinely like doing the audiobooks that are his adventures now. I heard he was shy, but he was really very personable. I was the one who was shy. He called me "darlin'" :). That was at my first and only Con, Chicago Tardis 2004. I'm pissed that Tennant is going. I'll miss his manic attitude and his sneakers. Also, I think Martha Jones is my favorite female companion. She's come a long way from wussy companions like Tegan in Old Who.

5. 80's rock-

Listening to it right now! The Cult. I like all kinds of 80's rock: hair bands like Def Leppard, Europe, Guns 'n' Roses (not really a hair band, but close enough), Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, and Poison, pop-rock like the Police and Duran Duran, and 80's Goth like Siouxie and the Banshees and the Sisters of Mercy. I also like the work of bands that did a lot of great work in the 80's: AC/DC, Aerosmith, Styx. I'm kind of embarrassed that I have a huge collection of one hit wonders from the 80's from the rock to pop to even the rap spectrum. I had at least 50 of the "100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the '80's" that they did on VH1, and had heard about 85 of them. It makes me feel old, but that was when I was a kid. There's always something special about the music you grow up with. Well, at least I'm not like my dad and didn't completely stop with the music I grew up with, and that I'm willing to give newer stuff a chance.

Writer's Block: Get It to Go

2009-06-08T19:20:00Z

What's your favorite thing to order for takeout (or takeaway)?

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Chineeeeeeeese! Kung pao chicken, Beef & broccoli, crab rangoon, lo mein, chicken with sweet garlic sauce, and good egg rolls with egg roll wrappers (which are bubbly, whereas spring roll wrappers aren't. Fuck you, spring rolls!). Man, if I wasn't broke and trying to diet right now I'd be on that action like a rabid wolverine.

Bleh. This is craptastic.

2009-06-05T19:12:59Z

I'm sick. I know, I know, I'm a sick person generally, but this time, I'm really ill. I hate being sick or admitting it. I can breathe, but my throat hurts and I'm coughing. My hands and feet are like ice sculptures and I generally feel like roadkill. My aunt and uncle need me to housesit tomorrow, so I can't be up long. I have to kick this pig before then.

I'm full of tea and benadryl and orange juice, so Mortal Kombat is on like a mo-fo. (Rips spine from nasty sick bug. I hope.)

Please . . .

2009-06-04T23:59:54Z

Please say something nice to me, FList. Rasvi, Fearnottheflame, and Talalkhemist will know why. I'm on the verge of crying.

See, I used to be this really big Kung Fu fan, and David Carradine's book was my intro to taoism and . . . . now he's gone.

I remember how my friends and I had great nights in the mid to late 1990's watching Kung Fu: the Legend Continues. We were such big fans. I still have lots of eps on VHS. David Carradine was such a cool old dude and I absolutely loved Caine to death as a character. That character in many ways was a kind of early spiritual guide for me, as odd as that may sound. And ah, Gods, the original Death Race 2000, funny as hell in a sick sort of way.

Writer's Block: Significant Change

2009-05-28T14:41:50Z

Have you ever tried to change yourself for someone you were in a relationship with (or wanted to be in a relationship with)? Did it work?

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No. Maybe that's why they didn't work. I never tried to change what I thought I knew of myself, to open myself to possibilities, for one of them. For the other, it was my expectations I couldn't change. I thought he was something other than what I was seeing. He was so much more broken than I'd ever thought. It was around then I realized that I couldn't "fix" him. It was something he had to do on his own. And I believe he's done a lot of healing, but only when he was forced by his friends to rely on himself alone. (We still keep in occasional touch.) Yet another guy I left was because I thought he wanted something more than abooty call. I was wrong: he wasn't all that intelligent, and, well, he was eager, but that's the only positive thing that could be said about the sex. He was my only one-night stand.

I think I would do better at my relationships if I didn't have such a fear of being "owned", "kept", "held on to". I want to have my own life, not be "allowed" to have it by someone else. (This is incredibly ironic, since I live with my parents because I can't afford anything else and live by their rules, and I am basically in the situation I described: being allowed a life rather than having it on my own terms.) I'm afraid of commitment because I have such a tenuous grasp on who and what I am that I'm afraid I'd lose myself altogether if I was under someone else's constant influence.

Jeez, I didn't mean to go into the soul-searching so heavily . . .

Did I eat a bowl of Stupid for breakfast? No, but I had a glass of Spock for dinner last night.

2009-05-24T17:10:20Z

Got three Spock glasses last time I went to BK, one for me, one to send to Stuie, and one for Chaz. Funny enough, when I ended up at the bonfire/cookout Chaz held at her house last night, she had bought me a Spock and a Nero, bless her heart. Now I have two extra Spock glasses. Beuller? Anyone? Now, all I need is a Kirk and a Nero for Stuie, then I can send him the whole set. Stuie, if you're reading this, ummm, surprise?

I <3 my new Spock icon. I got him over at angel_elf_icons. I always thought when Spock announced he was going to Starfleet, the "Live long & prosper" he gave the Council was more like a "Live long and fuck you". Imagine my squee when I found something that conveyed that exact sentiment!!

Starting the green tea diet today. One of Mom's mags says that 6 cups of green tea a day will melt fat off you. I'm also cutting down on soda and going on another month long fast-food fast. BK and their promo . . . I normally don't like BK much. I feel fatass lately. Usually, I'm not too disgusted with my plumpness, but I'm not happy right now. Two cups down, four to go.

Really, really looking forward to the new Transformers movie. Not quite as jazzed about "Night at the Museum" 2. I loved, loved the first one, and I thought it ended in a good place. The story doesn't need embellishment. Plus Chaz is not gonna see it with me. She hates Ben Stiller with a fiery passion. Guess I'll have to give it a chance alone.

I'm going to grill today at my Grandparents' party. Yaaaaay! Barbecue season is here, and I'm ready to "burn some meat". Actually, I'm usually quite careful that meat doesn't get burned on my watch. I take pride in my outdoor cooking skills. I've had other grilled food, and, not to brag, but I grill better than any man I know. Plus, I really enjoy it. It makes me feel in touch with my inner cavewoomun. Me like fire. Ugggg.

I am epic. (well, at least the idea is.)

2009-05-17T17:48:54Z

Another Star Trek 2009 post. Guh. Chaz was saying that somehow, the guy who played Sarek, Spock's father (it was Ben Cross, I think), didn't seem right to her. I didn't have any feelings about that bit of casting, either way. Though I was a bit surprised to find out who was playing Spock's mother. Having seen Bram Stoker's Dracula less than three weeks ago, I was going. "Spock's mom looks like Winona Ryder. Naaah, she was born in '71, she's too damn young . . ." Imagine my surprise when I found out I was right! So, I submit to you, Spock's real Parents.

Hugo Weaving as Elrond in LOTR

+ Winona Ryder as Lydia in Beetlejuice

Totally= Zachary Quinto as Spock.

And if his mom wasn't Winona Ryder, she would, without a doubt, be Abby from NCIS.

You know this to be fucking true.

So, my geeky brothers and sisters, do I win the internetz?